Have you ever lost touch with who you are? Who you are at your core? Did you even notice? If you have ever found yourself looking back on your life and wondering what happened to the girl who loved to do certain things, or wear certain clothes, or longed to become something specific, then chances are good that you’ve lost her somewhere along the way. You are not alone. Neither is that “girl.” She’s still there, in you, but finding her again may take a little work, some prayer, and a lot of patience.
What is it about her that you miss? You can’t begin to seek, until you understand what it is you are looking to find. It’s easy to lose parts of you, especially as a woman. As women we are constantly evolving and diversifying. We evolve not only from the girl to the woman, but into wives, mothers, employees, leaders. We diversify our energy and focus on spouses, partners, children, employers, careers, organizational teams, religious groups, and community. In the very acts that begin to define us to the world, we become mired in what makes us who we are, and the core that makes our “me” gets separated from the surface that is “I.” There may not be an “i” in “team,” but there absolutely needs to be a “me” in “I.”
Life often bumps us way off the course we really wanted to stay on. People and circumstances don’t always play nice with our initial life plans. So, now, we have to go back and identify who we were before we hit that first real bump. In doing so, we can begin to frame what we are seeking within our self and get a clearer picture of what it will take to reclaim the core of our being.
For me, it’s begun with my desire to write. Writing was the one thing I always wanted to do. To write novels and poetry and words that inspire. To be known as a writer. I loved to draw as a child. I loved to ride horses as a tween. In a perfect life, I would have been an artist living on a horse ranch and writing about it. After having four children, and twelve grandchildren, I would be a size 8. I would have a closet full of cute clothes and shoes. I would have a sweet “2013” car. I would have enough time and money to spend with and on my family without worry. I’d start every day in The Word and end every day in the arms of my man.
But, alas, as you and I both know, this is not a perfect life we live. It’s a wonderful life, and it may never be a perfect life no matter how hard we try — but we can get close(r), can’t we?
I have lost considerable energy along the way of this life. And with it, the zeal for color and closeness. So, my journey to seek my “self” starts here creatively and it includes venturing out into unknown territory physically, as I get acquainted with the practices of yoga & meditation, and re-acquaint my “self” with the gym.
Where will your journey begin and how will you frame it?
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